Begin drinking heavily the week before October 11, 2008, and hope that the Arkansas State Police is permitted to escort the Razorbacks into Jordan-Hare Stadium. Let’s see, Arkansas tried to raid Tommy Tuberville from Auburn in 2007 and wound up with Bobby Petrino who previously worked for Tuberville at Auburn and then later met with Auburn’s President and AD about the Auburn job when Tuberville hadn’t been fired yet. How many times will Pat Forde and the WWL replay that story?
October 18, 2008 will reveal the sure-fire aninmosity from UKentucky because Petrino owned Kentucky after the first year Petrino coached Louisville and those losses were embarrassing to a rival in-state school.
On October 25, 2008, I predict that the Second New Madrid earthquake will cause the earth to part and the planes circling overhead will crash in a mid-air disaster over Fayetteville. But being stuck on the ground Houston Dale Nutt and the other coaches who weren’t recruiting on Arkansas’s time will have no place to go for shelter. Then Houston out of force of habit will guide his team into the Razorback’s locker room where multiple arrests will ensue and cause a border war over the bridges of the Mississippi River. John A. White wearing a white cloak will reappear in the North End Zone still wearing the golden handcuffs on one arm declaring that Houston Nutt violated the terms of his separation contract by going to Ole Miss and that he’s going to retake control of the University and bring Houston back.
November 1 will bring the Return of the Golden Boy and dredge up renewed speculation that Frank Broyles politely compelled Houston Nutt to hire Gus to prevent an uprising in Razorback Nation on Frank’s watch because the Parade All-American Player of the Year and his buddies, who live 15 minutes from campus thought so little of Arkansas that they were going to play ball out of state. Oh, the thought! Then Arkansas’ air attack will never materialize with a Dick throwing the ball, and we’ll watch close up what could have been if Nutt would have employed Gus’s attack. Pissed off that there’s a plane overhead, Gus will order his quarterback to shoot down the plane. Arkansas’ defense will bring the drama to a close with 28 points off turnovers, plus four Tejada field goals from 50 yards+ for Arkansas to win.
The next week, Petrino will pull Alex Mortensen, whom he recruited at Louisville, off the scout team to run the offense. Alex throws for 500 yards in each of the next three games causing the WWL to praise the pride of Chris Mortensen and praise the Razorbacks as the next offensive revolution in the Spread Evolution. We’ll talk of National Championships again.
SoonerHawg did inspire me to get off my arse and begin trying to make sense of some of NCAA rules. I’m working on an in-depth blog on Ryan Mallett’s situation and what I’ll call Rule X. — SharpTusk