@TheAntiTweetter is dedicated to skewering coaches’ inane twits.
The coaches’ quotes you are about to see are real. No names have been changed to protect the inane.
“PLEASE SIR, PUT DOWN THE CRACKBERRY AND BACK AWAY! WE’LL GET YOU PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF.”
**********************************************************
Ms.St.Mullen “Great time tonite at the Reeves house. The bulldog faithful are great ” Dont werry spelin an punctiashun aint in a p r. 7 minutes ago from web
UKCalipari”If you make a daily effort to help others and be genuine, your footprints will always remain in the sand” Reading Ma’s Knitting? 13 minutes ago from web
UCFCollins”DEFENSE will be so SCARY… it’ll make “Nightmare on Elmstreet” look like “Free Willy” Please Freddy, Don’t Drop Your Drawers!! 9:46 AM Jul 13th from web
UTKiffin on July 13, 2009 “GOOD MORNING VOL NATION!!! IS IT SEPT. 5th YET???” This guy’s got problems !!! 9:41 AM Jul 13th from web
UKBrooks, “Back in Eugene and hanging out in the caboose..” Twitting Eugene is one way Eugene may know Brooks is in Eugene’s caboose. EEeww! 11:14 AM Jul 8th from web
ECarHoltz “Nobody beats PIRATE NATION…the BEST FANS in the land!” Confused sort… those land pirates! 11:08 AM Jul 8th from web
PittWannstedt “It’s getting closer!” Ya’ll fill in your own joke here! 11:06 AM Jul 8th from web
Stanford’sHarbaugh, “Stanford F.B. will hold it’s 2nd annual alumni conditioning test on Sunday Aug. 9th” Your future is in your past, eh? 11:03 AM Jul 8th from web
GaStCurry “I’ll be quiet for a few days.I suggest you do the same.” Index & thumb tips together. Palms high. Oommmm, Ommmm, I’m board. 10:58 AM Jul 8th from web
Well it’s official, So. Miss. Coach Fedora eats sushi. ” We had great Sushi.” What next? Quiche? White wine spritzers? Dry Barbecue? 10:54 AM Jul 8th from web
USCCarroll “This fire works crew is amazing…traffic has totally stopped in all directions.” Maybe launching them from I-5 wasn’t so smart! 11:19 AM Jul 6th from web
UCFCollins “my $$$ is on RODDICK fr next year’s Wimbledon.” HA! Good one, where do we get some of that action? World Table Tennis Chmp? 11:13 AM Jul 6th from web
SoMissFedora “players are getting ready for a great workout this morning.” – This is an instruction on Anticipation. Now, we see your point! 11:08 AM Jul 6th from web
UT LKiffin “Another great morning in Knoxville!!!” Yep, no one’s accused him of cheating and no foot in mouth taste. But, he’s not UP yet! 11:05 AM Jul 6th from web
Calapari “I’d see my own kids…. Four days at home reminds me of what I’m missing!” -Like paying for good test grades, huh? 11:01 AM Jul 6th from web
UCFCollins “vacation book “BLINK” gotta think outside the box to stay ahead” Want to think “OtB?” Learn where & why the phrase exists!! 10:58 AM Jul 6th from web
ND Weiss – “My dogs love when I go” With another 3 or 6 win season they ought to want to have your children !! 10:09 AM Jul 1st from web
UKCalapari says, “Have you given a 110% today? Check out the K Fund’s 110% Club.” No thanks. The Krishnas won’t let me earn another 10% ! 10:01 AM Jul 1st from web
Charlie Weis says, “I’ll be around most of July, as recruiting never ends.” South Bend must be a DI player hotbed! 9:59 AM Jul 1st from web
UKCalipari goes to “Wheelers pharmacy” for “COACHES” tips. “Opinions flow!” Wow Wildcat Fans! Cal says, “You Don’t know Xs & Os.” 3:59 PM Jun 30th from web
UMinn’s Brewster says,”The Gopher Train is filling up fast.” So what’s pulling a Gopher Train? Wow, what a bunch of perverted Gophers! 3:48 PM Jun 30th from web
USF’s Leavitt 6-30-09 “We gave our players this week off to rest” You required them to workout during the summer? Sounds Like Involvement. 3:43 PM Jun 30th from web
UK’s Brooks twits about friend’s funeral bumming his vacation start. Next? “Visited my anorexic niece in rehab and ruined dinner plans.” 3:40 PM Jun 30th from web
Charlie Weiss twits”Jon Bon Jovi concert was great!” Bon Jovi? Wasn’t he that old guy on American Idol last year? EEeeeeeewwww. Creepy. 7:30 AM Jun 30th from web
And Pete Carroll has “a song of the day!” God, he’s so hip! What style ! He’s got a Versaci purse and Fenelli stilletos and a spray Tan! 7:19 AM Jun 30th from web
I also gave NASCAR my affidavit saying I was in fear of my life driving with Michael Waltrip and David Gilliland. 8:54 AM Jun 27th from web
